


there's a hole in the world like a great black pit

by mirkandmidnight



Series: As Above, So Below [2]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Thieves, Gen, I will gender my Patron Minette how I want to gender my Patron Minette, Organized Crime, lady!Babet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 08:04:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4779950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkandmidnight/pseuds/mirkandmidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Babet looks nice. </p>
<p>She's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's a hole in the world like a great black pit

Montparnasse doesn't like Germans. They're a frankly ridiculous people with no sense of fashion (lederhosen, really?), irritating accents, and a language that gave one wrinkles, which of course was why he'd never bothered to learn German. Montparnasse didn't make a point of learning languages that gave one wrinkles.

Luckily, Eponine spoke the language, if not fluently, then well enough to get them by. She spoke quite a few languages, actually, probably enough for her to manage in most European countries.

"Right," Eponine said, coming back from the little cafe she'd stopped at. "Dieter says the building is just up the road a bit, past the local pub." It was a cold morning, and spots of color were high on her cheeks. She rubbed her gloveless hands together, blowing on them. 

Montparnasse wasted no time in tromping up the streets, avoiding puddles and snowbanks, Eponine following closely behind him. He wasn't about to stand out in this cold a second longer than he needed to, and if Eponine's fingers got frostbitten, she'd be absolutely no help to anybody, herself included.

"Why are we doing this agan?" Eponine called, a few paces behind him. "Not that I don't enjoy your company but hey, kind of freezing here."

"Babet wants to see us," he said over his shoulder. 

But of course that wasn't explanation enough for Eponine. "Who or what is a Babet?"She paused. "Is it like JARVIS?"

Montparnasse gave an exasperated groan. "Why the hell would you think Babet is an artificial intelligence?"

Eponine shrugged. "I joined a massive criminal organization, I don't think it's that unreasonable an assumption that you'd all have some kind of gadgets lying about."

"This isn't an Iron Man movie. Babet is a perfectly ordinary person, and if she hears you implying otherwise, she might just decide to take one of your teeth." He continued up the street, stopping in front of a run down old house. Montparnasse eyed it with distaste. Vines climbed up the walls and the whole place looked as if it was about to crumble at any minute. He knocked at the peeling wooden door, then wiped his hands off on his coat.

The front door flew open with a lot more force than was strictly needed, hitting a ceramic pot. Montparnasse jumped, while Eponine (damn her) stayed unruffled.

On the other side of the door stood a tall, slenderly built woman of Korean descent. Her hair was cropped short around her chin, and she wore little makeup. This was Babet.

"Well?" she demanded, steadfastly ignoring the shattered remains of the ceramic pot. "Are you just going to stand there like a pair of idiots or are you going to come in?"

On his right, Eponine shrugged, and their shoulders brushed as she pushed past hi. SHe stepped forward and through the door, holding her hand out to Babet.

"I'm Eponine" she offered.

Babet's face split into a wide grin. "Oh, so you're the one Claquesous has been complaining about nonstop." She laughed aloud, then ushered the two of them into the house.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Eponine asked, taking off her coat and folding it over one arm.

"It is an immensely entertaining thing," Babet replied. "Montparnasse has beenacting like someone simultaneously kicked his favorite puppy and got him a new toy to play with. It's kind of hilarious, actually."

"Okay?" Eponine said, glancing uncertainly at Montparnasse, who steadfastly didn't make eye contact. S"o why exactly am I here? He didn't tell me, well, anything."

Babet led them into a small kitchen area, and they all sat down around the island. Babet suddenly looked very serious. "We're here to discuss your future," she replied.

Eponine fidgeted, looking very much like a student awaiting punishment. "My future?"

She laughed. "Now, dear, there's no need to look so nervous. We just want to know you're going to give us any trouble."

The other woman looked at Babet, defiance in her eyes. "Didn't have much of a choice in joining, did I? Your boy here," she jerked her chin at Montparnasse, "practically dragged me into this kicking and screaming. But I'm not going to betray you, if that's what you're asking."

"Why not?" Babet asked, folding her hands in her lap.

Eponine grinned. "Well, for one thing, I think I'd be murdered before I could get 50 miles away. Bt it also wouldn't be very professional. I mean, I crossed you before and you gave me an opportunity. It would be a shame to waste it."

Both Babet and Montparnasse were looking at her now, with twin expressions of interest. It was slightly unsettling, Eponine decided. Like a pair of cats staring at their prey. Babet glanced at Montparnasse for a moment.

"Parnasse, will you go down to the corner store and get me some eggs?"

Montparnasse looked at her as if she'd grown a second head, but got to his feet and headed out the door, muttering something under his breath as he went. Babet watched him go, a mixture of satisfaction and amusement plain on her features.

"It's good to know that boy still has some manners," she commented before turning back to Eponine (who, it should be noted, was looking at her with exactly the same expression as Montparnasse had been).

"What was that about?" Eponine asked.

Babet leaned forward. "I wanted to talk to you more personally, and Montparnasse has no notion of privacy. I thought perhaps you'd appreciate him leaving."

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked warily. Eponine had begun to pick at the hem of her shirt nervously. 

"Nothing too painful. You're a Thenardier, aren't you?"

"Yes. I don't see what that has to do with anything."

Babet smiled. "So you've grown up in this kind of a world. I just wanted you to know that we aren't that kind of a group, dear. We may be thieves, but we treat each other like family. That means if anyone makes you uncomfortable or you get into any trouble, you have the right to say something. The Patron Minette takes care of its own," she finished, voice taking on a slightly ominous tone.

Eponine nodded hesitantly. "And am I going to be having this kind of conversation with all of you people?"

She considered. "Probably not. You're not likely to meet Claquesous unless he wants to talk to you, and he doesn't like to talk to anyone. Guelemer doesn't say all that much. He's more of what you'd call the muscle of the group, and everyone else you'll meet eventually. I suppose I'm all you get." She smiled wryly. "Although I'm not terribly impressive."

"I'm sure you have...hidden depths," she offered, and Babet nodded.

"That's kind of you to say. Now, about Montparnasse. You'll be working closely with him for a while, as a kind of apprenticeship thing. He's a very talented man, so pay attention and you'll learn quite a bit from him." Babet hesitated. "Just one thing. Don't let him steal too many designer clothes, all right?"

"Okay?" she replied. "I can do that."

Just then, Montparnasse waltzed back into the room, holding a plastic bag, which he plopped onto the eggs. "Got your eggs," he said shortly. "What'd you do to my recruit?" Montparnasse flopped dramatically onto a stool. "You didn't alienate her, did you?"

Babet just looked at him. "Now, why on earth would you think that? I like her. I need someone in this group I actually like."

"High praise," he noted. "Are you done with her?"

Babet straightened and stood. "For now, I think. She'll do quite nicely. I suppose I approve."

Montparnasse and Eponine echoed her movement. "Good. Now, we'll be on our way. Wouldn't want to take up too much of your time."

The Korean woman eyed him. "Always so suspicious, Montparnasse. Always so suspicious. We're on the same side, you know. I can be trusted."

He laughed aloud. "I don't trust anyone. You know that, Babet." Eponine started pulling on her coat surreptitiously, gaze flickering between the two thieves.

She laughed lightly. "Ah, that's right. I'd forgotten. Well, I'll let the two of you go. You'll have a lot to be doing."  
***  
"So," Eponine offered. "Babet seems nice."

"Nice?" he said disbelievingly. "Babet isn't nice. Babet is the darkness. Babet is the shadows in the night. Fear her."

"You don't think you're being a little overdramatic about this whole thing?"

Montparnasse stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and held out his arms. "Eponine. Look at me. Do you really tink anything other than dramatic is even close to being my style? OF course I'm being dramatic. It's what I do."

Eponine eyed him. "I see, then. I'll have to keep that in mind."

Montparnasse's phone buzzed, and he dug it out of his pocket and frowned at the screen. There was a message from Claquesous, asking the pair of them to meet him.

"What was that?" Eponine asked.

"Claquesous. He wants to meet up."

"What does he want?"

Montparnasse shrugged. "Hell if I know."

"That's encouraging."

"Isn't it?"


End file.
